It has recently come to the attention of the WFP staff that enormous advances are being made in the field of disturbing cosplay. In an effort to keep our readers on the cutting edge of current global issues, WFP will be bringing you our second series of hard-hitting articles: “Cosplay, WTF?”
At the front lines, amidst the fun-fur and sweaty copulating, ace reporter and former Washington lobbyist Mondo Hawkins – whose journalistic credits include extensive field reporting for The Madison Observer, D.C. Now, and Politics Weekly – is braving all manner of sin and damnation to bring the truth to the people.
Say tuned and stay informed !
It’s true! The bible clearly indicates that horrific genital injury was far more commonplace in the ancient world than previously suspected!
Religion and theology correspondent, Morvy “The Whip” Jackson, recently unearthed information regarding castration from the book of Deuteronomy:
“(A) eunuch, whose testicles are broken or cut away, or yard cut off, shall not enter into the church of the Lord.”
The scripture is clear on God not being in to eunuchs, but what about those whose balls have merely been damaged? Sure enough, the book of Leviticus explains this concept in greater detail:
“…or a hunchback or a dwarf, or one who has a defect in his eye or eczema or scabs or crushed testicles… Also anything with its testicles bruised or crushed or torn or cut, you shall not offer to the lord, or sacrifice in your land.”
It is sad, really, that these poor, simple folk never had sufficient crotch protection. Or is it, perhaps, that the harsh realities of life in the ancient world placed their genitals in constant danger? And what of these hunchbacks and dwarves? What role do they play in all of this?
To get the answers, Wretched Filth Psychotic will be undertaking a multi-part, cutting edge expose’ to uncover the truth behind genital injury throughout history.